Edouard Writes - Christian Mental Health

 Hey,  I haven't been active on here as much cuz it's literally been 3 years but life has been interesting lately. I've been struggling with stomach issues for the past 3 months now going onto the 4th month only to be told that it is a misdiagnosis. Something changed my view on this though... During this period of my stomach issues I kept throwing up, feeling light headed and dehydrated to the point where my blood pressure was extremely low. Still no diagnosis, but I think I diagnosed myself in a way.  My Primary Care Physician had an appointment with me and said he feels that this could be linked to my depression and anxiety. He continued on to say that stress can have an effect on your stomach. Before the beginning of the appointment one of his associates had asked me if I was feeling suicidal at all or had any negative thoughts to which I replied with, no.  I lied. I have been battling with negative thoughts for the past 2 months and I feel like I'm stuck in a box...

       I heard her scream from a couple of feet away. As I was walking to the library to print out my resume for an upcoming interview. As I got nearer I saw a girl sitting on the ground in distress...crying. When i approached her she told me not to come any closer or she would hurt me. And then she said sorry.           From what i have experienced in my days of being in psych wards i most definitely can tell when someone is having a serious moment. This happened at my college campus in the evening in the pure dark. We had to call the University Police in order to deescalate the situation and to make sure the girl was safe. They arrived and then everything moved on as if it never happened.      But, I wanted to touch base on how the cops treated the situation. They were very calm and understanding of her Mental Health needs. They didn't just come pick her up and leave. They softly spoke to her and made sure she was safe. ...

When the rain falls then comes the sun When you feel sad, you want to run  You can hide until it's all better  Then wait for the good weather  Let me tell you this quick tip  It's fine if you feel like you want to skip  Skip out on dinner or friends  Just please make sure it's not the end It's okay to not be okay  It's okay to not go out that day  But please make a little effort  To get out of the desert  The blazing heat on your back makes tears feel like comfort  But the joy that lies ahead will be unbearable  So keep fighting because there's no such thing as a heart that isn't repairable 

Do you ever have questionable or scary thoughts? Thoughts that make you wonder if you are even the same person you were before you had that thought. Well, I'm here to tell you, I have the same!  Sometimes I could just be doing any random thing or looking at someone and a questionable thought comes to my mind. For example, If I'm using a knife to cut some fruit I sometimes think, "Imagine I just stabbed myself right now." And after thinking that thought I wonder why it even popped up because I'm not a violent person. I could also be driving and think in my mind "Imagine I just swerve off the road and hit this person" or in class I think "Imagine I strip naked in front of everyone right now."  If you have any of these thoughts just know that you are not alone. And what I learned from my therapist is that they are NOT your thoughts. My therapist explained it to me like this...There is something called your filter thoughts and your actual thoughts....

I haven't been feeling the best this entire week. At work and at home I just don't feel good. At work when I talk to my co-workers they just ignore me sometimes. I feel like they don't really realize when there doing it though. At work I just stay quiet and listen to the other conversations happening in front of me. I laugh but sometimes it's not real.  I realized that I'm so quiet and I only speak when I'm spoken to. That's just me. I grew up that way. Nobody finds me interesting or wants to learn about me or talk to me. I'm just the quiet weird girl. I remember at work I was sitting at the computer working on my skills while my co-workers were planning a whole party in the break room without me. Until one of them came to get me but it still kinda hurt. I like to be included. :,)  Work is fun though. There are some days when my prayers get answered and I have a joyful work day. Anyways I hope your having a good day! God bless! And don't forget to fo...