Blanket

This is an update on how my life is doing right now. Not gonna lie it's not too bad but it would be nice if some things were different. I started school this week. I really enjoyed my first two days they were pretty chill. But the morning of the second day wasn't the best. I had an argument with my mom about the mental hospital and after the argument, she said that I cause a lot of problems.  When someone tells me something negative about myself I tend to repeat it to myself and start to believe it. So when she called me a problem that didn't really go well for me. After the conversation, I felt like the entire day was going to suck. But to my surprise, it didn't. Things turned around.  But I still have an issue happening up in my mind. I pray every day for it to go away but it just doesn't. The issue is that I'm afraid I'm going to end up in the hospital again but not because my mental health is bad right now. It's mainly because that's what happens...

  I've always heard that exercising can help with my mental health but I never realized it until now. I have been exercising for three and a half months now but I recently took a 3 week's break. I'm pretty sure in a previous post I talked about how I barely cried in a long time and that it might have been because of exercising. But something changed during my 3-week break.  I felt depressed for no reason at all. I would feel the need to cry when I didn't even know what I was crying about. My brain was even trying to find things in my life to cry about but it just wasn't giving what it was supposed to give. At first, when this happened I had no idea what was going on. But then I realized it was because I needed to continue exercising.  Exercising is actually a great coping skill. Mainly because you're actually getting benefits from it not that other coping skills aren't beneficial. But think about it, if you were to distract yourself with YouTube or TikTok th...

 There's something about helping people that I enjoy. It gives me a feeling of achievement. Whenever I feel someone needs help I just need to quickly step in. This is where my future dream job comes in place. I want to be a social worker. But I not only want to help people face to face I want to help a whole community. I feel like the social work occupation is calling out my name and screaming at me to pursue it. But the thing is there are a lot of things you can do as a social worker and I don't know what type of social worker I want to be yet. I'll figure it out though. Anyways when it comes to the future I feel like our minds need to stay focused a little bit on it. If we were to think about the past all our lives we'll never get prepared for our future because we're too busy loathing our past.  The present and the future are important. There's this thing I say to myself whenever I'm bored and have nothing to do. I ask myself "What can I do at this m...

Today I met my new therapist. Well not actually met but I spoke to her on the phone. I feel like this is a new beginning. Usually, when a change like this happens in my life I'm not content with it. But this is different.  I feel like I'm leaving all my old ways and troubles in the past and I'm becoming a new person. Focusing on what's in front of me instead of the bad memories and heartbreak from my past. You know, I feel like change is really good. Especially a change like this. You can learn and grow to become your better self. Don't be afraid to step into some new light. The change will feel good. If there is something you're holding back from doing because you feel like it's not the right time just do it right now. Start right now! Do you want to start your fitness journey? "START NOW!" Do you want to start your own online business but feel like you're not going to get anywhere with it and you have so many thoughts pulling you back? "...

I haven't been feeling the best this entire week. At work and at home I just don't feel good. At work when I talk to my co-workers they just ignore me sometimes. I feel like they don't really realize when there doing it though. At work I just stay quiet and listen to the other conversations happening in front of me. I laugh but sometimes it's not real.  I realized that I'm so quiet and I only speak when I'm spoken to. That's just me. I grew up that way. Nobody finds me interesting or wants to learn about me or talk to me. I'm just the quiet weird girl. I remember at work I was sitting at the computer working on my skills while my co-workers were planning a whole party in the break room without me. Until one of them came to get me but it still kinda hurt. I like to be included. :,)  Work is fun though. There are some days when my prayers get answered and I have a joyful work day. Anyways I hope your having a good day! God bless! And don't forget to fo...

  These past few months my life has changed but not drastically. The most important change that has happened in my life is my mental health. I don't know if it's because I have been more active or spiritual and that has made me have less symptoms of depression but I have barely cried for the past 3 months. I usually cry every single week over the littlest things I would overthink and get upset but that has changed. Well kind of.  Today just feels like I need to take a breath and just let everything out. Not crying makes me feel like I'm keeping something in and now it's banging at the door to come out. I realize that every time I get frustrated I want to cry or just punch something. Especially if someone isn't understanding my feelings.  I'm no professional but I feel like when you have a mental illness it's good to try to understand yourself. Try to find out what isn't good for you to see or hear and you can block out those things in your life. In examp...

  Men aren't heard when they are suffering with their mentality. Instead of being heard, they are told to "man up" or that "men don't cry." Here are my thoughts on that.  I have a couple of guy friends and some who silently suffer from a mental illness. One of them recently went to the hospital because of an attempt. He seemed perfectly fine the last time we talked which shows that depression is a silent killer. But I feel like with men it's more silent. They hide their sadness so well. Men are shut out when it comes to them talking about their needs. Some are told that no one cares because there men. Often fathers are the ones that tell their sons that men don't cry. Probably because emotion wasn't a factor when they were growing up.  I don't know the gender of who views my blog but if you are a male and you're silently suffering please speak up. It's easier said than done but there are people out there who love you and want to see y...

  Before I made goals for myself I felt like life was useless. I didn't have a reason for anything or anything to be driven about. Here's why I think you will benefit from having goals.  I hate living the same day over again and having nothing to do every day. The thing about having goals is that you have something in your life to really work towards. And once you achieve it you will feel a sense of accomplishment. That feeling is a really good feeling. It's like when you have something to get done that you think is difficult but once you get it done a weight is lifted off your shoulders and you feel like doing more. You feel like you can do anything.  When you feel like you can't go on anymore your goals might be the last thing on your mind but they also might be the first. Your goals will keep you going. You will be so focused on your goals that negativity won't have space in your life. Think about that. Wouldn't it be nice to live the life you have always wan...

I have been diagnosed with Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. These illnesses cause me to have a lack of concentration. And you need concentration to drive so here's what I have to say about that.  When I was 15 I was so eager to start driving because I wanted to be independent. And as it got closer to my 16th birthday I was studying the driver's manual constantly. When I turned 16 I got my permit also at the exact time as my other two older siblings. I was so excited to start driving but after a while, I lost motivation.  After a couple of times of driving, I got better. At first, my thoughts weren't racing but then it got harder to focus. I would have a song stuck in my head from the night before and I would think about it constantly. Also while driving I would think about how everyone's life is in my hands at that moment and I could just make a wrong turn and cause a huge accident which as you know would end a couple of lives. I literally have to repeat the...

  I have anxiety and depression. When I was diagnosed with depression it was a very unpleasant day for me. I wasn't mentally stable and wasn't in touch with reality. This is my story.  It all started when I had a quarrel with one of my friends at school. I made a rude remark to her about her life and she clapped back. What she said hurt me very much. I thought about it the entire day and night up until the next day. I was in class and just started bursted out crying because I couldn't take it anymore. My best friend at that time took me to the main office and I told them what happened but they didn't understand clearly from all of my sobbing. They finally understood and they called in the friend that said it to me. She said to me that what she said was never meant for me it was for the girl next to me. I barely believed her at that time but what she said kind of calmed me down. But I was never ready for what came next.  The next couple of days became hard. I felt parano...